In the last series of articles I focused on important issues which can cause serious problems in relationships (http://www.balancedfamily.com/).  One of the worst, and least recognized, is resentment.  It works on the foundation of a relationship much like termites work on a house.  Left unidentified and untreated, resentment will rot the relationship from the inside out.

Last time I addressed what really happens when we try to avoid conflict in our relationships.  The inescapable conclusion of conflict avoidance is what's known in family law as irreconcilable differences.  We see this term all the time in pop culture magazines when two celebrities split after being together for a short period of time, often only a matter of months.  But what does it really mean and is it possible to avoid.  I wrote an article recently titled Marriage is for Adults (http://www.balancedfamily.com/) in which I focused on

 The recent scandal involving Elliot Spitzer brings up once again the way public figures handle private problems.  At times like these, therapists are asked by their friends, clients, and sometimes reporters, why people who live in the public eye behave in ways that, when discovered, bring about their downfall and their family's humiliation.  While no one can know what goes on in another couple's relationship, there are some consistencies in why people turn away from their partners and toward a third party.  One of the most common reasons is that a person becomes dissatisfied in so

Over the past several weeks I have been addressing what kinds of things people should be focusing on when looking for a life partner.  After having lunch with a friend who is the mother of two daughters, I wanted to expand on a previous article, "Job Description for the Perfect Partner" (http://www.balancedfamily.com/).  While we were talking about that article, Debra was telling me how she has tried to instill in her daughters the difference between dating and courtship.  She takes an interesting approach to what many people think a

Recently I watched a television program focusing on the troubles of a very young married couple.  There were multiple problems and disagreements in the marriage involving money, division of labor, raising the children, and inappropriate ways of fighting.  The Rev. T. D.

In my last article I examined how you can know if you want to be with a particular person or just be in a relationship (http://www.balancedfamily.com/).  I introduced the possibility that many of our relationships are driven by a fear of being alone.  Today, I would like to take a more in-depth view of this fear and how it hurts us as individuals as well as making healthy, successful relationships unlikely.

In the last few articles I have been taking a look at what qualities/characteristics need to be present to have a truly successful relationship (http://www.balancedfamily.com/). I have focused on the importance of knowing who you are and what you require as an essential starting point. As part of the continuing discussion on this topic, I think it's time to address your actual goal for a relationship is and why you want to be in one.

Last time I addressed the pressure we feel to find our soul mate (http://www.balancedfamily.com/).  I examined the issue in terms of how this "happily ever after" concept is presented to us in movies, books, and fairy tales.  We are led to believe there is only one true love and circumstances must be just right if we are to have that perfect relationship.  What many of us never learn is that many people can fill the role of "the one".  What is really necessary is a clear and well defined understanding of what makes a certa

As we find ourselves between the two most popular holidays for popping "the question", I thought it was time to address an issue I am frequently asked about - how does one know if the person he/she is with is the "right one"?  From fairy tales, romantic movies, and even our friends and family, we are bombarded with the idea of finding our one true soul mate.  It is pounded into us that unless we find our other half, we are doomed to lead unfulfilled and unhappy lives.  One of the most frequently quoted, and completely misguided, romantic lines is "You complete me

Time is running out.  Valentine's Day is almost here.  You have made all your plans and are just waiting for the arrival of Cupid and his quiver of arrows to get the romance under way.  The stress of making reservations and the time you took finding just the right gift and card will all be worth it when you see the smile on your partner's face.  Not like last year when you got the wrong size or the wrong color.  This year it will be just right.  The question is, is it the gift your partner really wants or is it just one more tangible item to wear, eat or use?  But it really