The Perfect Valentine

Time is running out.  Valentine’s Day is almost here.  You have made all your plans and are just waiting for the arrival of Cupid and his quiver of arrows to get the romance under way.  The stress of making reservations and the time you took finding just the right gift and card will all be worth it when you see the smile on your partner’s face.  Not like last year when you got the wrong size or the wrong color.  This year it will be just right.  The question is, is it the gift your partner really wants or is it just one more tangible item to wear, eat or use?  But it really is not too late to give them the perfect gift:  the gift of love.

Each week I have attempted to address issues regarding how to make your relationship successful (  One of the keys to a happily ever after is to meet your partner’s needs with a loving heart and a willing spirit.  This time of year is all about that spirit of loving with joy and sincerity.  My question to you is whether what is in the box all wrapped in shiny paper and ribbon is really what your partner has been asking for?  What if the best gift your loved one received was the fulfilling of the request he/she has been wanting for years?  Take a moment and think about what would really make your partner happy.  Is it spending more time together watching chick flicks or NASCAR?  Is it being home to have dinner together on a regular basis?  Is it spending less time on the phone with family and/or friends? Is it finally making plans for that date night you’ve promised to arrange but never quite got around to?  Is it simply a matter of putting your clothes away at the end of the day?  Is it going to bed at the same time?  These are the true gifts we have the power to bestow but quite often don’t make it onto the list.  These are the gifts that can bring lasting change and happiness to our relationships.

Giving what matters

Gifts are something we think are associated with special occasions.  But the best gifts are the ones we receive on a regular basis.  The unexpected smile you receive from a stranger when you are having a bad day.  The good morning kiss when your partner comes down to breakfast.  The quick response to a request made by someone we care about.  These are the things that fill our hearts and keep us going.  So why don’t we do these things more often?  Much of the time it is because we really don’t understand how important these “little” things are to our partners.  We don’t really care about these things so they don’t register on our radar screens unless our partners mention them.  We might acknowledge the request and make a promise to do better but then we fall back into our old ways.  This actually may make things worse because our partner knows we can do what he/she asks, we just stop doing it.  If we promise and then don’t follow through the unintended message we send is that our partner just isn’t that important to us.  He/she isn’t worth altering our behavior for.  But, if we take our partner’s request to heart and really make a concerted effort to honor that need, the payoff is enormous.  It is a living illustration of our love for the person we have asked to share our life.  It is an amazing example of our ability to put our partner’s wants and needs ahead of our own.  It is a marvelous gift that will keep our relationship thriving and successful for many years to come.

Remember the gift of love is a gift that can be given any time of the year and is always the perfect fit.  Happy Valentine’s Day.


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