The Madness of Facebook?

Tony Parker and Eva Longoria are splitting.  Courtney Cox Arquette and her husband David have aired their private lives in the press.  It’s been a year since Tiger Woods’ life fell apart.  In the last few weeks, a New Jersey pastor ordered fifty church officials to delete their Facebook pages.  The common denominator:  infidelity.

In the same 12 month period, I have had two clients admitting to affairs with old flames.  So does this mean Pastor Miller was right, that Facebook is ruining marriages?  My unequivocal response is No!  Facebook is just one method people are using to engage in extramarital behavior–it’s not the madness driving them to it.

Pastor Miller said he’s done counseling with couples with marital problems due to one partner having inappropriate relations with an old friend found on Facebook.  That’s great.  What’s he going to do about the people having inappropriate relations with co-workers, coaches of their kid’s soccer team, people they meet in bars during “Girl’s” or “Guy’s” night out?

Let’s face it.  Temptation is everywhere.  Commitment is not.  It is completely unrealistic to think that, just because we’re married, we will never find a person other than our partner attractive.  It is the level of commitment to that marriage that determines how we respond to that attraction.  There are many reasons one might give in to the temptation, but, for a person of integrity, it’s never a good choice.

So let’s stop placing blame on a particular means of indulging our temptations.  What we need to focus on is the madness of giving in to them in the first place.

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