The Biggest Relationship Mistake Women Make

In the 6th grade, I was madly in love with Bobby Bauer.  I remember writing “Mrs. Bobby Bauer”  over and over on my notebook papers.  Many of my friends were doing the same with the boys they liked.  Thus the age old practice of women linking themselves to men at the least provocation continued.  Whatever it’s current form, it is this practice that is the downfall for women and their notions of love and romance.

The single biggest mistake women make in their quest for lifelong love is to commit to a relationship too quickly.  Like me and my grade school friends, women start creating their happily ever after during that first flirtatious encounter with a man (boy).  They begin wondering where the relationship is headed after the third date.  It’s like they have their life play already written and are just looking to fill the role of the leading man.

This ritual is exemplified by a tradition at a local women’s college.  At this institution of higher learning, a young woman is expected to get her class ring at the end of her junior year and her diamond ring in her senior year.  Whoever she is dating becomes the “one”, other aspects of the relationship notwithstanding.

In trying to create a successful relationship out of whole cloth, and reinforce their decision to commit so quickly, women then start altering their behavior in the hopes of getting a reciprocal commitment from their partner.  This involves putting aside their interests and likes in favor of his.  Even if they offer a suggestion of something they want to do, they will abandon it if he isn’t interested.  They get more invested in the relationship without requiring a commensurate commitment from their partner.

Starting down this path of abandoning their own legitimate needs and desires sets in place a pattern of interaction that is difficult for women to retreat from.  This often leads to what a friend called the F*** You Forties when the kids have left home and women get tired of coming last.  The pendulum then swings in the opposite direction and it becomes all about them.  Their partners become confused because they never knew their wives were choosing to do things they didn’t really want to do.

Making a relationship all about you is as problematic as making it all about him.  The long-term costs of this original capitulation and subsequent reversal is usually a function of resentment for the woman.  It ultimately results in the end of the relationship–not the romantic outcome envisioned in the beginning.

There are no comments yet. Be the first and leave a response!

Leave a Reply

Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL
SEO Powered By SEOPressor