In the 6th grade, I was madly in love with Bobby Bauer. I remember writing “Mrs. Bobby Bauer” over and over on my notebook papers. Many of my friends were doing the same with the boys they liked. Thus the age old practice of women linking themselves to men at the least provocation continued. Whatever…
Taking Relationship Advice From Facebook? Not Good Idea!
I was scanning through my Facebook page yesterday and came across an entry my high school age daughter posted. She had been at WeLikeverything.com and checked Like to “When a girl says I’m done, it really means fight for me.” I silently screamed “Noooooooo, don’t do that!” What my daughter, and many other women, don’t…
Katy Perry + Snoop Dogg = Relationship?
I recently heard that the 3 of the top 5 pop songs are duets. I was really surprised that one of them was “California Gurlz” by Katy Perry. I’ve heard the song countless times on the radio and never picked up that Snoop Dogg was on the recording. My 14 year old daughter informed me…
How Your Reputation Impacts Your Life
In the last post, I talked about the trials Ron and Cathy Tijerina experienced while he was in prison. He served fifteen years for a crime he did not commit. In this day and age of DNA and other advanced scientific evidence, one might ask how this possibly could have happened. Ron knew, and accepted,…
Honoring Your Commitment–What Does It Take?
Two weekends ago at the Smart Marriages Conference, I had the opportunity to hear the incredibly moving story of Catherine and Ron Tijerina. They faced one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face and had to really examine what their vows for better or worse truly meant. When they were in their mid-20′s,…
Chick Flicks and Sex
Psst, guys. Do you like sex? Would you like to “get lucky” more often? Allow me to let you in a not-so-well-kept secret, chick flicks put women in the mood. I’m always amazed at my male clients who absolutely refuse to watch any movie or television show that is aimed at women. I wonder, are…
The Kindness of (to) Strangers
Blanche DuBois, a character in Tennessee Williams “A Streetcar Named Desire”, famously claimed, “I’ve always dependend on the the kindness of strangers”. The importance of this line came back to me when I was talking to a couple in my office last week. I was again amazed by how life partners give themselves permission to…
Time As Priority
A colleague, Dr. Willard Harley, suggests that couples spend at least fifteen hours of quality time together every week. This is time when focus is on your partner, not the kids, work, the budget, or the TV. When I suggest spending this time together to my clients, the response I frequently get is “We don’t…
Victory in the Battle of the Toilet!
Victory in the Battle of the Toilet Seat! In the War between the Sexes, the ongoing battle over the position of the toilet seat almost seems insurmountable. The shrieks, the eye-rolls, the SPLASH, and the anger contribute to the frustration couples feel while learning to live together. My first experience with the misplaced toilet seat…
Resentment — the Insidious Relationship Killer
In the last series of articles I focused on important issues which can cause serious problems in relationships (http://www.balancedfamily.com/). One of the worst, and least recognized, is resentment. It works on the foundation of a relationship much like termites work on a house. Left unidentified and untreated, resentment will rot the relationship from the inside…